The World Doesn’t Stop When You’re Hurting
Tears are streaming down my face as I write this post. Every few minutes I have to stop to catch my breath. I hate crying, but right now I can’t help it. These last two weeks have been just one thing after another. I know very well that there are so many people who are hurting more than I am right now. People will try to make me feel better by comparing my pain to someone else’s. I guess they hope that by putting it in perspective I’ll see how things could be worse.
That’s stupid. Pain is pain.
I think that one of the hardest things about suffering (regardless of the severity) is that the world doesn’t stop when you suffer.
My heart hurts.
Its times like this when I truly wonder how people go through life without relying on Jesus. I have no idea what I would do without Him. Even though it feels like my whole world just caved in on me, I know that Jesus is right here reminding me that this is only temporary.
Because of Jesus, even though my heart is in pieces, I can trust that He will pick them up and put me back together; making me even better than I was before.
It’s very much like the ancient Japanese art (kintsugi) where potters take a broken bowl, and put it back together, filling the cracks with gold. Doing this, the bowl becomes much more valuable.
That’s what Jesus does when our hearts break. He puts us back together, making us better.
Jesus could so easily remind me that He was betrayed by His best friends, tortured, and crucified, pretty much all in the same day, but He doesn’t. To Him, my pain is nothing. But He’s still here to comfort me. He tells my heart that I can always cry out to Him, no matter how small of a problem.
You’ve probably seen those videos of toddlers crying over random things like chairs not moving, or toy cars not being red. I imagine that’s how Jesus see’s are pain. But instead of making fun of us, He comforts us. I think that’s amazing.
I find my peace in knowing that even though the world keeps moving, Jesus is keeping me together. I’m in so much pain right now: physically, mentally, and emotionally. But I don’t have to explain my pain to Him, like I do with everyone else. He knows exactly what I’m going through. He knows my suffering.
I’m not angry at Him for making me go through this. Not at all. How can I be angry? If anything, I’m thankful. I get to cry out to the One who formed the universe, knowing that He hears me. I get to know that I’m not suffering in silence.
Dutchess Oct. 23, 2004 – June 16, 2016